Pureridoggu's Journeys In South Park
by PraeriiDog
Summary: Zane Had It All, Riches, Many A Game Systems And AWESOME Games, And Luxury-That Is, Until He Decided To Betray His Sisters Request For The 5th Time That Week. Now He's Stuck In South Park, And God Knows What The Hell Will Happen To Him! Faced With Aliens, Imaginationland, And Cartman, Will He Make It Out Alive? ((Male Alternate To "Miakyatto's Adventures In South Park".))


**Hello To All. I Am PraeriiDog, Or If You'd Prefer My Real Name, Zane.**

**This Is An Alternate To ****MiirKat****'s Story, "Miakyatto's Adventures In South Park". She Has Allowed Me Permission To Write This, And A Note Of Allowance For This Story Will Be In The Second Chapter Of Her Story. In My Alternate, We'll Be Using Miir's Male Alternate, Praerii.**

**If You're Wondering Why Me, Miir And I Are Siblings.**

**Though She Tells People She's An Only Child Simply Because I'm Not Around Often.**

**DISCLAIMER: I Don't Own South Park, Miir Does.**

**(She's Reading Over My Shoulder)Miir: Dude, No I Don't.**

…**Neither Of Us Own South Park.**

**Miir: You're Typing What I Say?**

**Yes.**

**Miir: Awesome. Okay, Type This: To Anyone Who Reads My Story, "Miakyatto's Adventures In South Park", Um...Yeah, For The 2 Weeks Where I Haven't Posted A Chapter, I Didn't Have An Internet Connection! I Still Don't, We're In Like, A Computer Lab Thing. Praerii Just Had The Sense To Post His Chapter Into The Doc Manager When He Was Halfway Through...He's Much Smarter, I Know...BUT I WILL ACCEPT THE HARDCORE FAIL!**

**We're Going To Move On Now.**

**Miir: I Have More To Say!**

**I'm Writing The Story Now.**

* * *

It was a normal day, honestly. I had plans to visit my sister for the Summer, I was anxiously waiting for the next episode of South Park(AkA Having A Spaz Attack In My Room After 5 Minutes Of Waiting), and now I was in the middle of a sandwich.

"What do you think?"

"…I think…it tastes like sandwich."

"…Best Hetalia reference ever. I'm gonna go make my own, you want me to bring back drinks?"

I shrugged. "Royal Crown."

Michi nodded, then got up from the grass and ran back down to the house.

If you'd like a little background information, I'll gladly hand it over.

Around the age of 6, my mother "kidnapped" me, taking me from the home of my uncle. He had my aunt contact the police, and they came and arrested my mother. I was thrown into what I've always called the "Receiving Home", though by now I know it was probably a Foster Home.

Inside, my mind forced me to believe it was a happy place with nice people wanting to take care of me while Mother sorted things out. But while I was only 6, I wasn't stupid. I could comprehend reality well enough.

I wasn't going to see Mother again, and I would probably never see the rest of my family again. Nobody else in there liked me, like I pretended. Only other "outcasts" liked me.

Life was cruel.

And there could never be a happy ending to my fairy tale.

And in that facility, I lost hope.

I was adopted by a nice rich couple whose daughter, Michi, got me into Anime, Manga, and almost everything I like now. She was quite smart, and caught on fast to the fact I already had a broken soul. She tried to fix me, she actually tried to help.

Everyone else in society ignored me and laughed at my "stupid" problems.

They laughed at the reality I saw in the world.

They laughed at their own lives.

Idiots.

…

I learned I could only trust and love Michi.

I grew up with her and her parents, who only acted like I was perfectly normal, and when they began to grasp reality, they treated me like filth. Like an imperfection. But they had good hearts. When they realized how they were treating me, it was all "okay" again.

Michi gave up trying to help me around age 11, but we were still close friends.

I never did accept her and her parents as family. Just a friend and her parents.

She her parents were killed when she was 19, and we inherited the house, all their money, and everything in said house.

They suspected her, but I know Michi didn't do it.

I was the only one awake the time of the murder, anyways.

Right now, we're having a sort of "picnic" on the hill in our backyard.

"I got my food and the soda!" She threw the soda up to me, but she failed and it began falling back down near the top of the hill. I scrambled over and caught it before it smacked into the ground.

"叙事詩の失敗、, 道-ニーさん!"

"Aw, be quiet, Zane! I almost had it!"

"…I'll let you have it."

She crawled back up the hillside, and plopped back down next to me. She brought her sandwich up, and took a bite. Her chewing slowed, then swallowed.

"…Oh my god, it DOES taste like sandwich!"

I facepalmed, "I already told you that it tasted like sandwich, Nee-san."

"I wanted to taste firsthand."

Sigh.

I took another bite of my sandwich, contemplating what to do for the day. I could actually start reading that one manga Michi suggested, what was it? "Oh My Goddess!"? It seemed interesting enough…but I had people expecting me to play COD today…

決定、決定。

I sighed on thought and annoyance. I took the last bite of my sandwich, and decided upon playing COD.

'_If my decision is wrong, may lightening strike me down.'_

And a storm began brewing.

Michi punched the ground. "OH COME ON! HOW THE HELL DOES THIS SORT OF THING HAPPEN?!"

I smiled sheepishly. "Um, well actually…"

She raised a brow at me, suspicious. "What?"

"Well, I was thinking of whether I should play COD, or get to reading "Oh My Goddess!", and I decided on COD. But then…"

"What?"

The storm started, and almost immediately lightening starting striking.

"I thought to myself, um…'If this is the wrong decision, may lightening strike me down'."

"…Like with flying ice-cream trucks?"

"Yes-wait, what?"

I heard the crack of lightening, and a jolt through my body.

畜生。

I woke up in the snow, I could feel it on my legs.

My first strange thought: _'OH GOD. I WAS RAPED AND LEFT TO DIE OUT HERE, WASN'T I?!" _I quickly looked down at my clothes.

Same short-sleeved zip-up black jacket, same long-sleeved grey shirt underneath, I still had on my "Len-like" black shorts, grey Capri-styled leggings underneath. And yay*sarcasm*! I was still wearing my high-top black converse(I don't like shoes much)!

"…Oh…um…awkward moment inside my head…so, anyways, where am I…?" I crawled forward before pushing myself to stand up, and found myself at the edge of a thick woodland area.

"…Slenderman is going to murder me now, isn't he?" Branches snapped and leaves were crushed in the distance. "…Yeah, I'm going to die. God help me…" I ventured into the trees, every once and a while having to puch a branch out of the way. I felt a presence behind me, and swiftly turned around.

Guess what?

Fucking Slenderman.

…

No, just kidding. It was some chick.

She had her orange hair tied back by two red and blue striped bows, and had her bangs held off to the side by four Bobbi pins. She wore a really low cut blue tank top with a red choker, along with a plain blue skirt with red fishnet and blue high-heel converse-like shoes.

She smiled. "Well, hello there! About time you woke up! I'm Beji, the current keeper of Shadows and Karma! Now, this show doesn't seem to have any understanding of karma WHATSOEVER, and the shadow of a person is accepted! That's not good! So, seeing as you're-"

I cut her off, "ちょっと待って！I mean, wait a minute! What the HELL are you talking about?! What's this about shadows and karma?! And what the FUCK do you mean by, "this show"?!"

She giggled.

That BITCH.(I'm quite pissed off at the moment)

"Oh, silly Zane! Okay, so you don't believe me right now…alright, you'll believe me after this!" She lifted her hand to the forest behind me, and pulled it back sharply, throwing her arm to the snow field outside the woods. All the shadows and shade seemed to fly from the trees, and stopped in the field.

"I can even get rid of the sorrow and pain weighing on your heart!"

"I don't-"

"But since you yelled at me I won't."

"I didn't want you to. The "pain" and "sorrow" is the reality I can see. Life's not all happy rainbows and cupcakes, バカ 子ども."

She glared at me, then threw the shadows back into the forest. "Don't call me a stupid kid! I'm much older and wiser than some teenager! Ugh, I don't even know why I'm here! Even if you are worthy, you won't understand anything about being the new Keeper!"

I crossed my arms. _'Well, you haven't told me anything yet, but I bet my LIFE I could assume and get it all right!'_

"The Keeper of Karma is to watch over all, maintaining order within the world. Karma is a moral in which to tell people, "do good things", though with the statement, "and you'll get good things in return" people abuse Karma by doing "kind" acts for a reward. So when that happens, the Keeper of Karma must punish them, for that is really an act of greed, in the sense that they want only the reward. This is the other side of Karma. "Do bad things, and get bad things in return". Falling to greed will result in bad Karma, for you are falling to sin. The Keeper of Karma is essentially the good and bad result of right and wrong actions, trying to keep the balance."

She blinked. "Oh, we need to reward good deeds? I thought we just needed to punish the evil! Well, since you're next in line, you can take care of that!" She pat me on the shoulder, and I sweat-dropped. _'She didn't even know anything about her own job…'_

"Moving on, what do you mean by "this show"?"

"Well, see now…I've thrown you into the world of South Park!"

First ever Chuck Norris Roundhouse kick to the LOGIC.

Also the first time I've freaked out over something.

"OH. MY. GOD. WHATTHEHELLDOYOUMEANI'MINSOUTHPARK?! I. CANNOT. BE. IN. SOUTH PARK. IT MAKES NO SENSE!"

"Oh, but you are! I had to convince Kezumi to help me, but I got you here! …um, please stop having a seizure…"

I calmed down and stopped flopping around on the ground, taking deep breaths. "Okay, just…let me process this…you're the Keeper of Karma…and Shadows?"

"Yes."

"And I'm in South Park because of some guy named Kezumi…okay. Who's Kezumi?"

"The current Keeper of Time and Space."

"Of course he is…So, right, um…you were going to say something before I cut you off?"

"What? …Oh right! Yes, well, Zane…you are the next in line to be the Keeper of Karma and Shadows."

I slowly took the information in.

And then I had another seizure.

* * *

**Well, That Was The First Chapter, ALREADY Full Of Weird Things Happening.**

**No, JK. There's More.**

* * *

"NOT AGAIN! Zane, calm down right now before I suck the reality out of you!"

"I'm fine."

I got up, and brushed the dirt off of my jacket and shorts. I needed to stop having those freak-outs, I was going to hurt myself.

"Alright, so…how is this going to work? Is there some sort of incantation, or…?"

She laughed, "No! All the games and internet has gone to your head, hasn't it? I'm going to place my hand on your forehead and transfer the knowledge and power via soul link. Ready?"

She placed her hand on my head, and something rushed threw me. Memories washed over me. I saw myself…or…whoever's memory it was…looking in a mirror, and further on, with Keeper's memories from hundreds, maybe thousands of years ago. Then came the understanding, a kind of voiced code on the role of Karma's Keeper. And finally, the power. I could feel it, the shadows and darkness of souls bowing to me, the evil's heart rates accelerating, as if they knew the new Keeper was elected.

And then it stopped.

I opened my eyes to look at Beji, who smiled and removed her hand.

"There's something else I must tell you."

She began to age.

"Now that you've been chosen, I can finally die."

Her skin began wrinkling.

"After 300 years, I can die. Thank you."

Her skin began to rot away, and I felt sick.

"And Zane…I asked Kezumi, and he said…that you…you're the last in line for this…"

Her tongue rotted to nothing, and the skin fell from her lips, leaving her to fall down into a pile of bones. I stared.

'_So…there will be no more worthy after me…? I am the final Keeper…'_ I sighed, and turned from the bones, walking in the direction I was going before all this happened. _'I just watched someone die, and I'm not having a seizure? Wonderful*sarcasm*.'_

As I continued on my journey, I'd hear branches snapping here and there, but when that happened, I'd just remove the darkness of the forest and look around.

It was usually just a cute little bunny, or a bear, minding its own business.

Until the shadows were removed, then it'd have a heart attack.

I came to the end of the woods at some point, and found a town not too far from me. I stopped for a second, then took a deep breath. My right foot moved foreward, followed by my left. I began my walk into the town. As I strolled on autopilot, I fell deep into my thoughts.

_'Okay, so...I'm the new Keeper of Shadows and Karma...great...so, I'm supposed to watch over the town of South Park...and the WHOLE South Park WORLD...and put Karma into action? Jesus that's...that's a big responsibility...'_

_'I'm in South Park...I assume I'm starting at the first episode? Goody, I'll have to deal with Cartman's ass spewing fire and alien machinery...'_

_'...I'm a bit surprised I'm this calm about my whole situation...Well, if I AM this calm, I won't have to deal with people being suspicious when I flip out...but...I won't flip out...see, I've already fixed one problem!'_

I stopped. I felt like I had to.

I turned to my left, and there stood a house. It was only one story with three windows in was all white((Though The Roof Was Green)), with the door put off to the left side.

"...I swear I know this house...Didn't...Didn't my sister used to live somewhere like this?" I walked up onto the lawn, and jumped up to latch onto the window frame. Pulling myself up, I peered inside.

There was a bed placed on the far side of the room, with a desk and computer to its left side. Right under the window, I could just barely see a dresser, and on it an assortment of random items, like Yugioh cards Ds games((Also The Ds)). The closet was slightly ajar, and I could see-

"...Okay, what the hell are MY clothes doing there?"

Going up to the door, I twisted the handle and threw it open. In the living room was a huge, bulky T.V((I Believe We Got That For Free On Craigslist...)), a white leather couch and arm-chair((We Found Those On The Street...)), and a short, long coffee table.

"...Yeeaah, my sister used to live here...So, wait...if I'm in South Park...and this is my sister's old house...Yeah, okay, I'm going to assume I live here. If I'm wrong...oh well, beat the people who live here to death."

...What? What ELSE am I supposed to think of?

I kicked the door shut and walked off to my "Aunt's" room. I slid open the door((We Had Doors That Slid Into The Wall)), and peeked inside.

It was...incredibly boring. White walls, a simple dresser in the corner, white blankets and sheets, plain blue curtains, and a little table to the right of the bed.

_'So boring...ugh, I could barf...'_

I walked back and into the kitchen, then slid open the back door. There was a tree in the middle of the yard, a giant cactus plant in the right corner, and bamboo stalks right next to it.

Yes, this was my sister's old house.

I sighed, and turned back to the sliding back doors. I didn't bother to close the back door, and scanned the kitchen. There was the table they had against the fridge, with the same chairs at the same places. I dragged my feet to the fridge and ripped it open. There was a watermelon, some cheeses and lunch meats, along with 3 2 liters of Pepsi, 2 oranges, and a cantaloupe.

_'They never really had much...'_

I pulled open the freezer door, and sighed. There was one bag of microwaveable chicken strips, a large bucket of chocolate ice cream((My Favorite, At Least)), and 4 T.V dinners.

"...It's different from what I'm used to, but I'll work with it. Should've expected my life to be reversed...if you're rich, now you're poor! ...I think." I closed the freezer and once again opened the fridge, grabbing an orange. I kicked the door closed, and took out my pocket knife.

I'm always too lazy to peel the orange myself. I use the knife as a cheat.

I pushed my room's door into the wall with my foot and stepped inside. There was more than I had seen, a television was in the corner with 3 game systems with it; an Xbox, PS3, and Xbox 360. I had owned all three.

_'At least I get to keep some of my stuff...'_

I looked to the dresser, and walked over. There was my black Dsi XL, and my 3Ds. There was a small box of games for each. Apparently, I didn't get to keep my PSP.

"Hm. So this is what it's like being Miir((Minus The 3Ds, PS3, Xbox 360, And Having More Than 3 Games For Each Console...))...no wonder she asks about Child Protective Services all the time...**::Miir:LOL, no. Only when I was like, a tween. Me: ...She still does. Miir: SHUT UP ALREADY!::**

I pulled open the closet to check for which clothes I had with me. Inside were colored copies of my original outfit: Purple, Prussian Blue, Green, Red, Black, and White long sleeve shirts were hung up, with the same 6 colored shorts, capri-legging things, short-sleeved jackets, and converse.

"...Oh. Well, let me just figure this out..."

Outfit Changes:

Red jacket, shorts, and converse with Black shirt and capri things

Purple jacket, shorts, and converse with White shirt and capri things

Prussian Blue jacket, shorts and converse with Green shirt and capri things

"...Wait, so only 4 outfits? ...Well that actually kind of sucks."

I sighed and closed the closet door. I snatched up my Dsi and my bootleg Minecraft Ds thing, and began my awesome adventure into a world of Creepers and fucking skeletons.

I believe I fell asleep playing.

...Wait, DID I EVEN SAVE?!

* * *

**Sorry, But That's All For Today. It's 4:49 A.M And I've Been Up All Night, So I Should Probably Get Sleep.**

**Miir: Y U NO SHOW FIRST EPISODE?!**

**Because I Find It Weird To Place The Introduction And First Episode Together.**

**Miir: Well That Sucks.**

**...だまれ.**

**P.S. Sorry To Those Who Don't Understand Japanese! I'll Put Up Translations Down There((Even If I Should Be Asleep By Now!))!**

**"叙事詩の失敗、, 道-ニーさん!"= Epic Fail, Michi-San!**

**決定、決定。=Decisions, decisions.**

**畜生= Damn**

******だまれ.=Shut Up**

******So, That's That...Sleep Time((Finally))!**


End file.
